How to Forgive Yourself and Others

Are you finding it hard to stop thinking about an unpleasant or painful experience that involved someone besides yourself? Typical Christian wisdom would say that you should forgive the other person for whatever he or she did. Perhaps you really would like to forgive the person, but you find that the event that occurred between the two of you keeps returning to your thoughts, and you relive it all over again.

If you cannot let go of the event, it is very possible that, consciously or unconsciously, you are still holding on to a sense of responsibility for the event. This sense of responsibility is keeping you from true forgiveness. In order to free yourself from reliving the event in your mind, you must forgive not only the other person who was involved in the unpleasant event, but you must forgive yourself for whatever part you played in the event, no matter how small a part it may have been.

Therefore, the first step toward healing is to forgive the other person. The second step toward healing is to forgive yourself. If you are so filled with guilt from the event that you cannot forgive yourself, then ask the Mother and Father Creator and their son, Jesus, for forgiveness. They are infinitely forgiving -- all you need do is ask and you will be forgiven in that instant.

Now it is time to allow yourself to let the unhappy event to pass away from your thoughts.

• "'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: '"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself." All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'" (Matthew 22:36-40)


• "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." (Mark 11:25)


• "Forgive, and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37)


• "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)


• "Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.'" (Matthew 18:21-22)